Our Dog Keeper

                Our dog, Keeper, is a good dog. He’s better than our past dogs. We named him, Keeper, because Mom and Dad always had problems with dogs. We had one dog that would not stop barking, it barked non-stop, to the point one of our neighbors thought we had rare African bird in our yard. The dog bark sounded like a strange bird from a distance. We had to get rid of that dog. Another dog was a Siberian husky. He was big, I didn’t like him he scared me. He also scared my little sister and Mom. The husky didn’t scare my Dad, but the husky was scared of my big sister, Elizabeth. Every time she came around he would go hide under the coffee table. I think it was because all that Goth make up she wore. Sad to say, but the husky had to go to a friend adopted him to live on his farm with two other dogs.

                When Dad found Keeper he told Mom this is the last dog. So Mom told Dad, “Fine, we’ll call him, Keeper.” Keeper is a big dog trapped in a little dog’s body. He weighs about 30Ibs and sounds like he’s a 100Lbs.

                Well let me tell you about one of Keepers tales, not that he has more than one tail, I mean stories. My Dad always tells Mom and my big sister to put female type things in the trash can and not down the toilet. He says only toilet paper should be put in the toilet, and to think about the stuff that needs to be cleaned out of waste water. My Mom and sister understood, while Keeper was a puppy he understood what was in the trash can and from time to time he would empty out the trash can. All over the bathroom floor, hallway and sometimes the living room floor, bathroom trash would be spread every were. My Dad got mad at us kids and the dog, because we would forget to close the bathroom door and the dog would of course dump out the trash can. One night the family was watching a movie. Keeper started coughing and then sounded like she was chocking. The whole family looked at the dog and before Dad could get out of this chair to help Keeper a big white thing flew out of her month. The object flew across the room and landed behind one of Mom’s house plants. Dad checked on the dog after all of us looked at each other wondering what flew out of the dog’s month. My sister Elizabeth went over to the house plant and picked up the item when she found it. At first we didn’t know what it was. All you saw was a string hooked to a fluffy long white object with spots of red on it. Then my sister yells out, “Hey, I know what it is, it’s a used Tampon!”

                My little sister and I ran out of the living room in disgust. Mom yelled, “Elizabeth, throw that away!”

                My Dad said, “See now everyone will remember to close the bathroom door.”