Batman meets Frozen

            Gotham was quiet, on the edge of the park. I, Batman enjoyed a hot dog from Joe’s Hot Cart on the edge of the park. Joe made a good dog, because his dog’s were red while everyone else’s were brown. As I stood on the edge of a building waiting for the sun to go down over Gotham, I spotted a little girl. The girl was skipping down the side walk along the park. She was dressed in blue with blonde hair. When the little girl got closer, I heard her singing, “I’m going to see Frozen, I’m going to see Frozen, I’m go to see Frozen, on Ice.”

            “What in the blue blazes? Frozen on Ice?” I muttered with a questionable look.

            “Joey, finish your lunch. We’re going out,” mom yelled.

            “Where we going?” I asked as I pulled up my utility belt.

            “We’re going to see Frozen silly,” Jenny almost yelled barely able to contain her excitement about going.

            “Frozen? Frozen what?”

            Mom leaned down to explain, “Joey, we’re all going to see Disney’s Frozen on Ice at the Portland Civic Center, so we need to get going.”

            “Do I have to change into mild mannered Joey Stein or can I still be The Batman?” I asked hopping I could hide myself behind the mask.

            “That’s fine Joey,” Mom said.

            We arrived at the Civic Center in the Bat van, Mom, Jenny in her blue princes dress, and me, Batman. As we got closer to the entrance I saw multiples of Jenny a sea of, blue dressed girls. It was scary, I stopped counting blue dresses at about 50. While my family stood in line waiting to get in, a little girl, younger than my sister, pulls on my cap.

            “I’m Elsa, the Ice Princess. Who are you supposed to be?”

            I looked down at the cool aid faced little girl and said, “I’m Batman.”

            “Okkkkkk, but Batman’s not in Frozen?”

            “Can you keep a secret, little princess?” I asked.

            The little girl knotted her head really fast. “I’m here to find the Iceman and bring him to justice.”

            “Who’s the Iceman?”

            “The Iceman makes everything cold and he likes to hang out in cold places like an ice show,” I said with a smile.

            “Ooooooooooo, ok,” The little girl turns around and looks at her mother and says, “Mom! Mom, the bat kid in front of me told me a secret. He said he was looking for some Icemen or was it ice cream?”

            We came up to the ticket person and they said, “Sorry ma’am, you have blue ice tickets which means you need to have princess dresses to get the discounted seats. My mother looked at the man taking tickets and said, “But, he’s a boy and not a girl!”

            “Sorry lady, I don’t make the rules, the Batboy here.” Pointing at me, “He’s going to have to have a dress or you won’t go in with the bat.”

            I was beyond insulted. I told the ticket guy, “He buddy, I’m Batman, not Batboy!”

            “Mommy, we can’t miss the show. You told me we were going to see Frozen,” Jenny piped up.

            The ticket man said, “Look lady, over by the entrance is a merchant’s booth with dresses and other items that you might find that will help. You may even find a dress that will fit The Batman here.”

            “That’s right, buddy you got it,” I said. My mother leaned down to meet me eye to eye and said, “Joey…. I need a favor from you.”

            “Mom, you already asked me to wear a dress once already,” I said.

            “Look Joey, do it for your little sister you know how much she likes Frozen.” Mom asked.

            “But, Mom!!!”

            “You know something, if Batman was asked to help out a little girl he would do it.”

            I looked at Mom in the face and said, “Why did you have to say that, now I’m going to have to wear the dress.”

            “Sorry.. Joey.”

            “I have some conditions Mom.”

            “Tell me, what are they?”

            “1^st I’m not taking off my mask and second I get to pick out my own dress.”

            “OK batman, you’re a good brother and an even better son.”

            “Thanks, Mom.”

            Even though I got a lot of strange looks as the Batman in a blue dress, I found that the Frozen show was pretty good. Also, my little sister told me I was the greatest brother and she gave me a long hug. Then she really made Batman’s day with her comment that I looked nice in a blue dress. 

Leprechaun Trap

            In kindergarten you get to draw, play, make stuff and have someone read to you. We learn how to clean up; I hate to clean up. One day Miss. P. pulled out some boxes that were mostly green with sparkly things. Miss P. said, “Now class these are Leprechaun traps. Does anyone know what a Leprechaun is?”

            Little Miss Katie Manfield put her hand up and said, “O me, me!!”

            “Go ahead Katie,” Miss. P. said.

            “A Leprechaun is a little green man that likes money,” Katie said.

            “That’s right Katie, a Leprechaun is a little man that likes money. Also, a Leprechaun is a type of fairy that comes from Irish stories. Besides collecting money, he also likes to cause mischief and he is always dressed in green,” Miss P. explained. What Miss. P. said sounded a lot like one of my great uncles that my Dad talks about. He always says that he acts like a little fairy. By the way, he likes wearing green, because I always see him in something green.

            “Now class, I have in front of me some Leprechaun traps here today.  Take a look at what you might like,” Miss. P. said.

I looked over the traps spread across the table and saw some strange traps, but they were so small. There were some box traps, hat traps and all of them had something gold. I looked at Miss. P. and asked, “If a Leprechaun is as small as us then how will the Leprechaun fit into these little traps.”

            Miss. P. informed us, “Leprechauns can make themselves smaller, in order to not be seen getting gold. They can fit into the smallest of spaces! Why do you think no one ever sees one? ”

            I took home that information Miss. P. told us about Leprechauns. I had one week to make a trap and figure out how to catch a Leprechaun. A week passed and the teacher, Miss. P. told everyone to put their projects on the back tables and we would look at them, one by one. Miss P. looked over the projects and then looked at me and said, “Joey, I’m puzzled where is your Leprechaun project.”

            “Sorry Miss P. my project was damaged after I caught a Leprechaun. I have everything on video,” I said holding up a flash drive.

            Miss P. looked to be taken by surprise and asked me, “OK, Joey, let’s put your video on the smart board and see your Leprechaun.”

            Miss P. opened up the video for the class to see. It opened with me narrating.

            “Ok, folks, as you can see I have a small animal trap that grabs the leg when you step on the button like this.” In the video I pushed the button and the two metal arms come up to make a snapping sound, like an alligator’s mouth. The whole class jump in their seats and Miss P. looks at me.

            “Now folks, I have laid the trap on the floor, so the Leprechaun doesn't see it, I am covering it with a small carpet. Alright, seeing that I have no gold, I am going to use Mom’s purse as bait.” A minute goes by and then a noise on the video. “Shh, we need to be quiet, here comes the Leprechaun.” A short little man comes into the room dressed all in a green suit with a green hat, around on top of his head. He had a beard that’s all white, but no mustache and he walked like a weeble wobble toward Mom’s purse. “Watch this folks, see the Leprechaun he’s looking around to see if anyone is looking before he looks in the purse.” The Leprechaun picked up the purse after looking around, opened it pulled out Mom’s wallet and then pulls out $200.00 and sticks it in his back pocket. My class was shocked and so was Miss P.

            “Alright kids, here it comes.” The Leprechaun took one step to walk forward, and then SNAP!!! The trap got his leg along with the carpet that was covering it. The Leprechaun fell back and Mom’s purse went flying; I never in my life knew that my mom could get so much stuff in to one purse. The Leprechaun started yelling, “WHAT THE #@!!!?, G-HAW#!@%!!”

            Miss P. shouted, “Class, cover your ears,” as she scrambled to mute the sound on the video.

            Thanks to me, my Mom and Dad found out that Uncle Mickey was taking money from them. My big sister, Elizabeth, was happy also because Mom and Dad had been pointing fingers at her for the missing money. Uncle Mickey, aka The Leprechaun, wasn't so happy because I gave him a broken leg with my trap and Mom and Dad got him put in jail for a time and what about Miss P.? Well, she was somewhere in the middle, not happy with me, but not mad. She did give me a “D” on my Leprechaun Trap with the stern warning to never do a project like that again during my time at John F. Kennedy Elementary.